First Love and The Unrequited Love

my first love always ends without even starting
it's in case whether that person is in love with other girl
or he has gotten married..
just say that I'm unlucky
and just say, that the other half haven't found me,
yet.

well it is more to an unrequited love
and it's frustrating.

how do you gain confidence to say that you loved someone?
how do you feel to be loved by someone

I'm  at the age of 22
and I still don't have lover
nor even received any confession
and it is sad.

I always wanted someone to love me
well of course, besides my family
will the right person comes?
but..
do I deserve to be in love with the right person?

everyday I'm waiting
until that time when you're ready
please come out
and look for me
as I'll be waiting
here forever since the beginning

but,
dear Rabbi,
please don't take away the love I have for YOU, and the love YOU have for me.
because I don't have anyone to turn on to, except YOU

Ya Rabb

Ya Allah. kenapa aku tak boleh jadi orang yang memaafkan. kenapa bila aku kenang semuanya

aku rasa dada macam ditikam berkali-kali

macam mana jauh nya aku buang

aku tetap rasa pahitnya dekat anak tekak.

Ya Allah. kenapa hati ini tak boleh lembut

setiap kali aku ingat kembali, kenapa air mata ini jatuh ya Allah.

di saat bila semua mencaci kejayaan ku

aku pulangkan semuanya padamu

Ya Allah. tak kira berapa kali aku cuba memaafkan

kenapa perlu timbul rasa sakitnya hati ini

Ya Allah Ya Rabb.

berkatilah perasaan ku. berkatilah diriku. hidupku.

Happy Eid Mubarak 1433 Hijriah

from me,

 and

from my family. hiks

Just a mere thought

Salam, hello and greetings. it's the wind of August now. fuhh, time sure flies.

and a good news, it's Ramadhan. I'm having a blast, do you?

waking up so early had give me thoughts. oh yeah, I'm getting older as well with this thought. In fact, I'm too old to care enough about this.

My birthday is coming soon, 18th August. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not announcing my birthday here. the thought of saying it just came across my mind seconds ago.

I will be celebrating it, or not. since it's Ramadhan, a fasting month for Muslims. I should just keep quiet about it. I had celebrated it enough for the past few years. 

I have been so grateful for the past few things that happened. and I'm hoping I'm growing wiser, maturer, and  be more responsible towards my actions in the near future. let's face this world as an adult, will we?

oh yeah, the bad news is I still haven't had a boyfriend. and I have 4 years ahead of me before I finished my undergraduate studies. I still don't know why I brought this up, but to all couples out there, go and break a leg! (puns on good luck)

Alhamdulillah, I'm happy to see many of my friends graduated, fall in love, got works, and I'm happy to hear all the good news about furthering studies. go break a leg too, guys! (this time, it's a serious good luck :D) 

Since Raya is coming near too, I'm pretty much sure all the hectic shopping lists are coming out, or came out already. teehee, be moderate, that's what important.

appraise to Allah, The Almighty, The Most Merciful.

Finally, a Diploma for me.

On Kosmo! - Credits to PTPLCollege Photographer

Alhamdulillah, things got me overwhelmed for these past few days. I had my first ever convocation for Diploma. and it brings me so much pleasure.

I finally gained back something I lost : CONFIDENCE. of course, I am thankful but I know it's not enough to express how grateful I am by words.

2012 is a DAEBAK (GREATEST) year for me. got enrolled in Bach of Pharmacy, and having my convocation with friends, I felt so so so happy.

a bonus is added to this as I was announced as the Pelajar Terbaik Keseluruhan bagi Majlis Konvokesyen ke-16 Kolej PTPL for the whole Malaysia. this is not boasting, I just want to share the enjoyment with my fellow readers.

I'm so excited to type this entry, more excited than to write a love letter I guess? 

there is so many people I wanna thanked, but I dont have the chance to do so. and here I am expressing my gratitude to :

Mommy, daddy and my beautiful brothers and sisters,
Mentor, Lecturers, Program Managers, Head of school, 
Headmistress Mdm Miskiah Tijan, Dato' President Prof. Dato' Wira Dr. Mohd Syukri Abd Yajid and his wife,

Friends, Families

and to all of you.

thank you for praying, keep on cherishing and supporting me. thank you so much.

I promised to upload my latest transcript, but I don't think I need to. let me just keep it to myself.

The Certs and Medal

and I hope, this will be a boost for my upcoming future and I will do my best to live up to the expectations that people had of me.

last but not least, some eye candies from the memorable day. my face looked hideous yes I know. but I had so much fun, so I don't care anymore. hahaha :D

With Dato' President

Along with the other  25 Anugerah Khas President recipients

bestfriends. I mentioned them on belajar berkumpulan.

with Mathu.

with Ria. 
a very very very dearie friend of mine. went through thick and thin with me. 
my very precious one.

Mommy, my greatest source of strength and inspiration

The only bouquet I received from Mommy